A Rough Few Weeks

photo from: BPS research digest

It's been a little over a week since my last post and well, things are still pretty rough for me. So again, I just need moment to vent. First my body has decided that whether I liked it or not, I was going to get some rest. This weekend I went to the walk-in only to leave with four prescriptions and two over-the-counter medicines (bronchitis and a sinus infection).  I tried to get some rest this weekend but by Sunday I was a wreck and ended up staying home from church and then work on Monday

Meanwhile our insurance is a joke. One medicine for me, an inhaler, was $165.00 on top of the $117.00 I paid for the other three.  Not to mention that a week earlier, one of my baby's meds normally covered by our private insurance and Medicaid is no longer (out of the blue) covered by Medicaid and through our private insurance cost a whopping $146.00. I opened an explanation of benefits statement today to a large amount I will most likely have to pay one of my baby girl's doctors; I have to call tomorrow and check on that.

And the mood for my youngest seems to be getting worse. Everything is a battle. Even asking her to do the smallest task can end up in an explosive outburst from her. They often come without warning. She seems more agitated and anxious, I am at a loss for what to do. I am still coughing and my appetite is below average. I'm not at 100 percent but I went in to work today. I try to monitor taking days when I am so often out with my daughter's appointments. She is averaging two appointments a week. And let's be honest, people smile and say they understand but jobs don't care about my issues, they just want the work done. I haven't been able to cook and clean up the way I would like because I am not feeling the best, I need to clean out my car, I'm so behind on laundry it's shameful, I still haven't figured out how to set up my daughter's room since she threw everything on the floor last week...I could go on.

Today, I just feel a little lost. I know it will pass and I will find my way (what other choice do I have?), but for this moment, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster that I can't get to stop or even slow down. The photo I've chosen for this post pretty much sums me up. I could really cry right about now, but I'm just too tired. Not to worry though, like the song says: "there will be days like this..."  Tomorrow is another day, I'll let you know how it goes.