Ok, so I am completing day 4 of the financial fast and I am learning a lot about myself, and finding that I agree with what Michelle is saying in theory, but putting it all into practice with my schedule is harder than I thought. Take this example, on day 2, we went to church. Because our church is on the same side of town as work and school, we don't go home because by the time we get there, it would be time to head back.
We needed to eat, so I bought dinner. Now, is that a need or a want? Yes, I had food at home, but we wouldn't get home until close to 8:30 and trust me, my children were NOT going to wait that long to eat. According to the book, I shouldn't be eating out at all during the 21days, for me and my life, that just isn't practical.
Now, the next day I had Zumba. My husband had a game to cover at school, so that meant the kids were with me again. I gave it some thought, two days in a row eating out? There had to be something I could come up with. This time. I packed food from home, took it to work, and they ate that when I got to our church's facility for Zumba class. I did stop to get drink because I forgot to bring that. But packing food for three or four several times a week isn't always practical either. I will say this, the fast is forcing me to think and try and be honest with myself. Am I coming up with excuses so I can take the easy way, or was buying dinner really the better option?
Here's what I've learned, just the fact that I am actually taking the time to think about it is a major win. It's only been four days but I can tell I've spent much less that I would normally. Before, I would have simply bought dinner both nights and not given it a second thought. I have been bringing my coffee from home and my lunch as well. And, the other day, without even thinking, I walked into a store to by a quick snack (didn't eat breakfast before heading to a photo shoot that morning), just as I got ready to pick it up and head the the check out counter it hit me, put it back. I was on my way to work where I had a granola bar and fruit I could eat for breakfast. Why buy something when I was on my way to a place where I've already go something I can eat that I have already paid for?
So while I may not be able, or OK, willing, to go the full distance, it is teaching me to just THINK before I spend, and once I've done that and feel good about the decision, it's all good.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Monday, January 26, 2015
Day 1 And I am in Trouble Already
I am guilty of what many others may struggle with. I can spend $10 or $20 in a day without really knowing where it went. Financially speaking, we are fine and thank God, we make what is needed to pay our bills and care for our family. But I want to see if I have what it takes to get better at knowing where my money is going and how I can work smarter not harder.
So today, I started the 21-Day Financial Fast, based on a book by syndicated financial columnist Michelle Singletary. She challenges you to only buy what you need for 21 days. It is biblical take on money and what God wants to see us do with it. I am hoping to learn how to put practices into place that will be pleasing to God. If I want Him to bless me with more, I have to show Him that I can put what He has given me to the best use possible.
Already I can see a few challenges in my future, for example, today I had a lunch meeting with one of my daughter's therapists. After reading (or listening in my case) to chapter 1, I know the plan is for me to bring my lunch from home, but today, that wasn't possible. I set up this meeting last week before I started the project.
But my hope is that the more I pay attention to what I am spending my money on the more I won't make those impulse purchases that often lead to that candy bar (or potato chips, God how I love sour cream and cheddar ruffles) to the purse that was marked down and 40% off that I didn't need because when I got it home, I realized I had one very similar to it already in my growing collection.
Another thing discussed in today's chapter was not using gift cards or allowing others to purchase things for us that aren't a necessity. Well, I didn't listen to chapter 1 until after I'd already used my Wawa's gift card to get the morning cup of coffee I woke up too late to make at home. I figured hey, it was a gift card, I didn't actually spend the $1.06! Man, this is gonna be rough.
Getting this thing right is going to force me to plan better. I mean, it may only be a $1.00 for the coffee, but really, what is the point when I have a coffee maker and coffee at home? It isn't the amount I am spending, just the fact that I am buying something I've already paid for and have at home.
My ultimate goal is to see just how much unnecessary spending I do in a month. There are things I want to upgrade at home, and cutting back my spending on things I just don't have to have will help me be able to do that - because no matter how much you make, everyone's money has limits. Now, I know, limiting my cup-of-joe from Wawas in the mornings won't remodel my bathroom, but it's symbolic of the over consumption many of us, including me, take part in.
I'll update you every few days and let you know how it's going, and what I've discovered about myself. Wish me luck - I'm gonna need it!
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Black is Beautiful
This Monday night OWN will air the documentary Light Girls,
a follow up to their Dark Girls documentary that aired last year. Looking at the previews it looks like it will
be worth watching. The topic of color in the Black community has always been
fascinating to me.
The roots of this issue are deep and go back to slave days
when the lighter skinned slaves were in the house and the darker slaves were in
the field. But the operative word in that sentence is SLAVE, no matter how
light or dark you were our people were all still in bondage.
Today, the wounds from that experience still run deep,
especially for girls and women. In the dark girls documentary, one woman talked
about the day she, her mother, and a
friend of her mom’s were riding in the car – her mother told her friend how
smart she was, how pretty her eyes and hair were, and she was loving it. But it
was her final statement that ruined the entire experience for her and still
bothers her to this day – it was when her mother said, “could you imagine how
gorgeous she would be if she were lighter?”
Recently, my sister told me about a daughter of a friend who
was devastated because she is several shades darker than anyone else in her home
and feels she isn’t as pretty. She says her family doesn’t understand because
they haven’t experienced being darker skinned.
In the light girls
documentary, actors Raven Simone and Whitley talk about how they were often
made to feel as though they weren’t black enough, or that somehow their lives
were easier because of their skin color.
In a preview of the documentary women said they often felt shunned by
their own race because they were lighter; yet because they were still Black
(just lighter) they were also shunned by other races as well.
I long for the day when our darker sisters aren’t made to
feel as though they don’t measure up because of their skin color, and our
lighter sisters aren’t shunned because some feel they have it easier.
With all of the outside prejudices we already have to deal
with, why in the world would we divide and discriminate against one another
because of skin color? Black is black – whether you are light skinned,
red-boned, high yellow, dark skinned, in society it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, you are still Black
and WILL face discrimination is some form because of your race.
I hope both documentaries will continue to spark
conversation and help us to examine our own prejudices towards each other and
get rid of them. I hope that our sons and daughters can all learn to be proud
of their beautiful skin and realize how wonderfully God has made us. I believe
He made us in all shades to show the world just how wonderful Black really is.
I know darker-skinned girls feel that lighter-skinned girls
don’t understand what they’ve been through and vice versa, and well, that may
be true. But in some way, way, we’ve all been hurt or judged because of our
skin color and we can all understand the sting and hurt we felt. That pain and
rejection has no color.
If we can remember that, maybe we can continue the dialogue
until we get to the day that we realize that the mantra of the seventies is
really true… BLACK (no matter the shade) IS BEAUTIFUL.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
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