For Today I am Content

I thought about skipping a post tonight; then I remembered that skipping a night, then another night, then another... that is how it starts and before you know it, weeks will pass again with no post. I don't have much on my mind tonight. Things are quiet; my youngest is in the bed and my oldest is watching basketball (nothing new there).

I suppose if I had to describe my mood tonight I'd say I'm pretty content. Yes it's the holidays and believe me I have more than my share of things to do. There are appointments I have to make, deadlines to meet at work, gifts to purchase, and on and on. But tonight I figure those things can wait until tomorrow.

My children are okay and so is my husband, we have a roof over our head, we both have jobs to go to, there was food to eat, and even the dog is okay. So for tonight I choose to let any worries keep until tomorrow. I think it's always good to take a night or two here and there to just be grateful for what is right instead of worrying about everything that you need to fix. No matter how many times you sweep the floor, pick up after your children, fix a meal and clean the kitchen, there's more that can always be done. But I am learning that no matter what, I just can't do it all. It doesn't mean I won't try to fit in as much as possible, it just means at some point I have to let it all go, at least for a little while.

Over the past few weeks I've heard stories from friends who have a lot on their plates. And even though I know that you all know I have a lot going on too, there's always somebody whose plate is just a little fuller.

So for tonight I'm good. Tomorrow is another day, full of its own set of challenges. For now I'm living in the moment and I have to say this moment is pretty good.

A Mom & Her Son

Mother and daughter relationships are really special. You can share girlie things, go to the nail salon together, shop for clothes and get each other's opinion, or just window shop. Even though I have a special needs little girl, I still get to enjoy those types of things. It is great to experience and I love it.

But there is also something special about a mom and her boy. As I said a few posts back, I don't talk much about my baby boy (so he is almost 14 but he is still MY baby). He is a teenager and anyone who has lived through the teen years with a child knows what that means. Sometimes you wanna drop them off on an island and go back for them when they turn 25 or so. Even with the mood swings, attitude, laziness with school work (I could go on but why depress myself?), all of it - I still LOVE  having a son. It's neat to see things from  a guy's perspective (other than his dad - sorry honey). He gets so excited about basketball and he actually does more than just watch it, he analyzes it! He talks like a sports commentator. I love it when he is obviously happy that I am in attendance at his basketball games even though he tries to act cool with it.

And when no one is watching (except for maybe his dad or sister) he will lay his head on mommy's shoulder and remind me that even though he is cool and too old to have me fuss over him, he still likes to get a hug from mom now and then.

It has been amazing to watch him grow and change. One day his voice was tiny and a bit high-pitched, and the next it was so low I almost didn't recognize it. A few weeks ago I picked him up from the bus and swore he had grown during the school day.

We are giving him a bit more responsibility as he grows and it is wonderful to gently guide him while he makes decisions about how to spend his money or his free time. The other day he made me so proud. It was during the Thanksgiving break and we were going out bowling as a family. I asked him if he wanted to eat before we left, he said no. I asked again since he hadn't had a bite all day and by this time it was about noon or a bit after. Again he said no. I took a snack to the bowling alley because my baby girl has to have a snack! I brought enough for my son in case he decided he wanted a bite. After bowling we stopped off at the mall and he said "ma, can I get some of that snack? I was fasting that's why I didn't eat earlier but when you showed me those rice crispy treats the second time I knew it was time to eat!"

His desire to participate  in fasting lets me know that he is learning and growing and paying attention to what his dad and I are trying to teach him. We pray each morning on the way to school and I encourage him to pray for guidance during the school day.

I am grateful that God chose my husband and I to raise this exceptional young man. He is a great kid and I am always so happy to see him at the end of the work and school day. Yes he can still be moody and good grief he can get on my  nerves! But that's what teens do I guess. No matter how much he may frustrate me from time to time, I am still proud to be his mom and I am honored to call him son.

A Tale of Two Worlds: Charter School vs. Public School - One Mom's View

First a disclaimer, my day job is working for a local school district. Considering the topic of this post, I figured it was only fair to start with that. As you all know I have two children. What you may not know is that I have one in public school and one in a charter school.  Having a place in both worlds has taught me a lot. I know that many believe charter schools are the next big thing in education, but I am not so sure about that. There are a lot of things that parents need to take into consideration before choosing a charter school.

First a little background. The public elementary school my daughter attended was great. The teachers were supportive of her issues and did all they could to help her fit in.  But by third grade it became apparent that as she got older and her issues became more complex she would do better to be in a smaller atmosphere with an aide and a bit more support. So, I did some research and thought that the charter school my daughter currently attends might be a better fit. In some cases I think a charter school, for a specialized group of children with specialized needs, might be a good thing.  Having said that, it often irritates me when people think that charter schools have the power to make children geniuses, while public schools are just plugging along.

Here’s what I’ve learned. Charter schools can take applications and choose the children they want to allow into their schools, public schools can’t do that.  Public schools must educate any child no matter what. Some charter schools are requiring volunteer hours in order for your child to remain at the school – yeah right, do you really think a public school could get away with that? Most parents at a charter school are committed to the school and to doing whatever they can to make the school successful. In a public school there are often homeless children, children with parents who want to be involved but often can’t afford to take time off from work, children with parents who frankly, just don’t care, children whose parents are doing all they can but the child doesn’t care. The point is - public schools, unlike charter schools, can’t turn students away, or kick them out if their parents don’t donate or give enough volunteer hours. Until recently (when some parents in the district complained) my daughter’s charter school and many others in my area, required so many hours of volunteering and if you didn’t meet the volunteer-hours quota, you could pay $10 per required volunteer hour instead.  That always bothered me but I felt like, hey what was I going to do? It was play by their rules or she was out.

And then there is the reporting process.  In the last few years I have felt as though my daughter’s school, (one that accepts children with all sorts of disabilities) is spreading itself too thin. When you take children with everything from a mood disorder to downs syndrome and everything in between, how can you possibly make sure all IEPs are followed and that they all get the attention they need? In public schools there is a hierarchy, a chain of command when you don’t get the level of assistance or answers you need. In a charter school that chain simply doesn’t exist. I have no idea who to go to if I don’t get the level of assistance her IEP demands. The charter school is an independent entity. While it is true that school districts monitor charter schools, those schools are still independent and as long as they follow state rules, they can run their school the way they see fit.

Don’t get me wrong, public schools have their share of challenges, that is FOR SURE. But while I believe charter schools may be really good for a certain niche or type of student, I still believe that at the end of the day, public schools need more support, more assistance, more parental involvement, heck they just need more. Everyone thinks they know how to solve the education crisis - business men who have never taught a day in their lives, politicians who just say whatever they think the public wants to hear to get elected, you name it. Meanwhile children, my son and daughter included, are trying to figure out how to perform for the latest standardized test that proves … um anybody know what it proves?

Do I have the answer to the problem? Heck no, I am still struggling with potty training my special needs child.  But I will say this, putting up a charter school on every corner isn’t the answer. And standardized testing students to death in public schools, changing the standards every five minutes, and making teachers so responsible for students that they should be able to claim their entire class on their taxes, isn’t the way to go either. For all of our children’s sakes, we have to find a balance. So before you get angry at your child’s neighborhood school and pull them out for the latest charter school fad be sure that you can say you supported the school as best you could, you worked with the teachers tirelessly, you wrote your legislator about all of the rules and regulations they have demanded, many that don’t even make sense. Just make sure you did more. Take it from me, a mom with a foot in both worlds (charter school and public school), what they say is true – the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

P.S. Aren’t you proud of me, blogging two days in a row! Maybe I am turning over a new leaf!

Oops I Did It Again!

This is soooo sad. Every time I promise myself I won’t do it again, and then days turn into weeks, weeks into a month and…. I always admire people that can juggle a million hats and still find time to blog on a regular basis. And as calming as writing can be, I am absolutely exhausted by the end of the day and figure blogging can wait until tomorrow.

A quick recap, my daughter is doing about the same.  Her charter school is failing her in my opinion. They aren’t following all that her IEP says they are to do. She is coming home soaking wet more days than I care to count and, this is rich, recently they sent home a referral because she has to be redirected too often in class… seriously?  The child has ADHD, duh! Of course you have to constantly redirect her.  And then she apparently rolled her eyes at the teacher. Again, I say, really? The child has a mood disorder um yeah, rolling her eyes, that’s pretty typical.  Don’t get me wrong, I know she must learn to follow rules and focus on her work, but this teacher had detailed days that she had to deal with the behavior, yet, I never got a phone call or a note. And if they sent the note home with my daughter, yeah, it’s a wing and a prayer if she actually keeps everything in her book bag. 

She has been more aggressive lately, more defiant. But when you add hormones on top of everything else, that is to be expected. They told me the middle school years would be tough but OMG, I never expected all of this!
Meanwhile my 8^th-grader is giving me a run for my money. Typical teen, he knows everything and his dad and I are totally clueless. It’s amazing how hard it is for kids to picture that their parents were once their age and that no matter what they come up with to try and break the rules, there is NOTHING new under the sun.  I don’t blog much about my son, not because I don’t want to, but he is at an age where he really values his privacy and I try to respect that. But even though he can drive me CRAZY and he can often want to take the easy way out when it comes to school work, he is an amazing young man. It has been a joy to watch him grow. He will be 14 in two short months. Even though I’ve been a witness to every moment of his life, I can’t believe how quickly time has gone by.

And I have really gotten into a new hobby – cooking. For years I’ve allowed most to believe I cook just enough to make sure everyone in my home eats, but I am actually pretty good at it. And over the past year or so I’ve discovered that when I kick my family out of the kitchen and have the room all to myself, it relaxes me. I am so focused on the recipe (if I am cooking something new) or on changing things up to keep it from getting boring, that I don’t worry as much about my daughter’s future, getting my son through high school with all of the RIDICULOUS changes the school system is making, or the fact that my husband left his shoes in the middle of the floor for us all to trip over (sorry honey). I will have to share some of my favorite recipes from time-to-time.

Meanwhile, I will blog again tomorrow (I PROMISE!). For all you parents thinking about charter school vs. public school, my next entry will be of great interest to you. Until then… hope your Thanksgiving was a good one.