Because of Jameis Winston, My Son and I Will Have a Serious Talk

I don't know if Jameis Winston is guilty of rape or not. I know there was an investigation and I know that no charges will be filed. Does that mean he is innocent? I can't say - jails are full of those who shouldn't be there and the streets are full of folks who got off on a technicality that should be locked up.  If he is guilty, for sure, he should be punished. Whether the civil suit planned has any merit is for the legal system to decide.

photo from seminoles.com 

But aside from guilt or innocence, there is much parents can learn from this scandal. As the mother of a young man interested in sports and hoping to one day get a scholarship to college for basketball, this incident has taught me that I MUST have a very serious conversation with my son as he gets older - sex is a really big deal.I know that doesn't sound very profound, but it is isn't just a big deal for the reasons our parents always talked to us about; but because like it or not, college phenoms like Jameis Winston face many of the same challenges professional athletes face. Every move is scrutinized - everything you do, everything you say. A parent of an Auburn player went so far in a tweet as to pick at the way Winston talks (she later had to apologize for it).

While people were counseling Jameis on what school to attend and celebrating when he signed with FSU, someone should have taken the young man aside and talked to him about the heavy weight that comes with this kind of talent. Yes, FSU is giving this young man a college education in exchange for his service on the football team. But make no mistake, schools are making big bank off of these student athletes. In return, I believe they owe them much more than just a college education, they owe them a few life lessons as well.

I've read stories about workshops and classes many teams in the NBA and NFL offer to rookies about groupies and people who hang around just to see how much money they can relieve players off. They try to warn them about their behavior and even warn against casual sex. You have a one-night stand and think that's that. But sometimes that one night leads to many more nights of headaches, explanations, and clouds of suspicion.I believe college sports programs should offer some of the same sort of classes and workshops. No one preps these kids for how to talk with the media, how to conduct themselves in public (because somebody is always watching), how to develop a small, close circle of people you can really trust.

My son is still young but it's important to start the conversation sooner rather than later. I won't forget the articles and commentary I've read on Jameis Winston. Even though he wasn't charged, many will always believe he is guilty. He had sex with her so it must have been rape right? Some will always say yes. Years from now, if he makes it to the NFL, there will still be that one reporter who will always reference the scandal during his days at FSU. I hope he has learned the lesson that I plan to teach my son, that sex is never casual and just saying you didn't do it won't always be enough. Focus on school, on making it in life as a not just a basketball player, but a great man with intellect, infinite talent, and great instincts. Sex can wait. Right about now, I bet Jameis wishes he had waited.