If Ever There Was a Case for Foster Care...

photo credit: www.cclife.tv

This morning I was watching the local news and one story totally shocked me.  A Florida mother was arrested for burning her son’s genitals with a hair dryer (pause to give you a moment to let that sink in). Hearing the story, it may not have been intentional, but her actions after the incident certainly were. She left the two-year-old alone in the room, unclothed, with the defective dryer. Really dumb.  When she realized he was burned (first and second degree burns by the way), she failed to take him to the hospital.  According to the report, his father discovered the burns when she returned the baby to his care. She told him there had been a “little accident” involving the child – that was an understatement! When asked why she didn’t take the baby to the ER she said she was afraid that the Department of Children and Families would be called and she would get in trouble - that’s rich.

Surprisingly, this woman isn’t the first person in Florida to be charged with this crime. A Hernando County detention deputy used the same method to burn a 3-year-old in his care earlier this month. And there have been a wave of other incidents of cruelty by parents. In Maryland, a 21-year-old threw her infant out of a car window. A father threw his toddler out of an apartment building window in late 2013. And just so you know this sort of cruelty isn’t limited to the United States, a mother in Russia lost it and threw her four and seven-year-old out of a 15-story window, the fall killed them instantly.

If ever there was a case for the foster care system, stories like these are it. It’s sad that we live in a world where parents kill and deliberately hurt their own children. It’s so bad that in many states you can leave your child at a designated safe place (a hospital, police station, fire house, etc) so the child can get proper care.  In Florida that law was passed in 2000, a year when almost a dozen newborns across the state were left abandoned in dumpsters, near trash cans, doorsteps, etc. 

If any of you are reading this and have a heart for children, I encourage you to consider becoming a foster parent, so that children hurt by the hands of their own family can find a safe and nurturing environment to learn what it really means to be loved. I know the foster care system has issues, believe me I know.  As a former foster parent I was exposed to the red tape and hypocrisy. But I did it because I wanted to be a mom and when you see there are so many children in care looking for a mom, it seemed a perfect match. I fostered five children over a four-year period. And even though I was just a stop on their journey, I know that while they were with us, they knew true love. And I continue to have the honor to love the two that we adopted. I check on all my babies every few years to make sure that they aren’t back in the system. So far so good on that score.  And for couples struggling to become parents, I urge you to learn more about foster care and adoption in your state, especially if you don’t mind nurturing a minority child. More than half of the children in care in Florida and in most states, are minority. 

Yes, there is a great possibility that your child will suffer from trauma, anxiety, depression and so on, but even with all of the problems they face, they still deserve to be loved. If biological parents can’t give that, then it’s important that the rest of us step up and take on the task. If I hadn’t stepped up I wouldn’t know how wonderful the hug from my son feels when no one is looking (he won’t hug mom in public anymore) and he puts his head on my shoulder. Or when my daughter walks up with her infectious smile and says something hilarious. My life is better because of that choice. Is it always easy? No. Anyone who has read my blog knows that.  But parenting any child is a challenge.

So the next time you hear a story of horrible abuse of a child in your state, don’t just shake your head and talk about how awful it is, consider doing something about it. We can really make it better by nurturing one battered child at a time.